Friday, April 29, 2011

Exceptional or Acceptable

Today I would like to share a little story, a story of a girl.

     Once upon a time there was a cute, although slightly misunderstood, little girl. We'll just call her Anelle. When Anelle was just 12 years old, she wrote a letter to her friend, Lisa. In this letter she told Lisa all about her new home, new school and the friends she was making. Anelle also told Lisa that she was having a strong negative feeling about one of her caretakers.
     Now Anelle didn't really feel this way, she actually really liked her caretakers. But Anelle very badly wanted to find acceptance. She thought she could find it by saying cruel words. What Anelle did not realize was that these were very harsh words. Her caretaker happened upon the letter and was extremely hurt. When Anelle was confronted about the words she had written, she felt horrible. She wanted so badly to undo what she had said, make it right with her caretaker. Unfortunately it was all right there, in black and white for all the world to see. When words are written, they are so much harder to forget.
    She was so careful after that incident to not write awful words about anyone. She would try to bottle up her negative emotions. Anelle started only writing her positive thoughts. She would write notes to those she cared for, telling them of her feelings. But oft-times her words were disregarded, tossed aside like a piece of scratch paper. This only encouraged her to feel as if what she had to say was unimportant. She became even more discouraged in writing or sharing her true feelings. Some days she questioned if she even knew what to feel.
    Anelle is now a grown up little girl. She has a little girl of her own that loves to write. Anelle sees the raw emotion she once felt exploding out and wants her little girl to know, she is accepted. Every part of her is exceptional and Anelle can now see in this mirror of herself, how beautiful the gift of expression is.
    Today, Anelle is still searching for acceptance. Only now, it is the acceptance within herself she is fighting to find.

P.S. If Anelle's "caretaker" is reading this, she wants you to know how sorry she is for those words from so long ago. She loves and respects you very much.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Is this in focus?

    There are many reasons to change something. For instance; we may change our hair to try something new, we may change our minds about what to eat for lunch, we adjust when we lose a loved one, or we decide that we want to improve something about ourselves. Whether the change comes because we want it to or not, change is inevitable and a part of this experience we call life.
    Never have I been one to jump on the bandwagon, doing what ever is trendy at the time. In fact, I prefer to do just the opposite. So this blogging thing is not something I am doing just because everyone else thinks it's so cool. This is about finally letting out all that I have held in. I am getting more comfortable in my own skin and it is time to start expressing that. Of course I would love for everyone to read it and have this become the "Must Read for Every Man, Woman, and Child"(Let's face it, I like the attention.) But whether anyone reads this or not, I am putting it out there.
    My focus in life changes on a daily basis. Everyday, I think of something new I would like to try. Who knows how this will turn out. I may forget tomorrow that I even decided to do this. But for today, my focus is on commitment. I am commiting to making changes and allowing myself to be who I am, no excuses.